As in Vietnam,
pressure is piled upon the younger generations here to do well for themselves,
study hard and achieve all they can to provide for their family, whilst being
seen in a good light by nosey neighbours. Pushy parents, mothers in particular, are
prevalent here in China, even with children as young as three and four. They’re known as Tiger mums and always strive
to push their child that little bit further in order for them to get an
advantage over their peers. The mother
of five year old Lyla greets me after class on a weekly basis, keen to know how
many stars her daughter was awarded during my lesson; and more importantly, how
many stars the other children in the class received. It’s a big deal for student and parent alike –
keeping up with the Jones’* you might say (*insert appropriate stereotypical/common
Chinese surname here).
Working in my
new Chinese school offers more opportunities to meet my students’ parents,
compared to my time in Vietnam. At the
start of every new course we offer orientations, during which we introduce
ourselves to students and parents, explain the syllabus and do our best to
answer any queries and concerns. Throughout
the course we also have open door lessons where parents are invited to watch
their child in class and a few weeks later they return for our parent teacher
meetings. It sounds quite nerve wracking
but is actually a brilliant opportunity to show the parents what they are
paying for and keep them in the loop.
Most parents speak English (to varying degrees) and those that don’t are
generally happy if they witness you enthusiastically greeting their child in
English. So far I think I have them on
side – and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Seeing their child has a white Caucasian teacher is no doubt their
biggest concern and as that isn’t about to change any time soon I feel
confident that first impressions will always be that of someone who is
qualified to teach their children English.
Sadly, that’s just how it is here.
It’s not only
mothers here who strive for perfection. Shanghainese
women in general are well known for being quite ballsy and no-nonsense types:
perhaps that’s why I fit in so well here! They know what they want and how to get it and
their partners often appear to be at their mercy. I frequently see Chinese men carrying
handbags for their other halves and responding quickly after being beckoned to
sit next to their Juliet’s on the metro.
Western men advise my female Chinese co-workers to stick with
Shanghainese guys as they’ll be treated like princesses. Couples go to great lengths to show others
they are in a relationship; matching t-shirts and shoes are often chosen (by
the women no doubt) - true signs of unity and togetherness if ever there was
one.
That’s all well
and good if you want an obliging doormat for a partner; I however, like my men
to be a little more independent, with a bit of bite – so I guess if I do ever
get ‘yellow fever’ I won’t find a Shanghainese guy to suit my needs…
A
xx
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