Pudong skyline, Shanghai

Pudong skyline, Shanghai
Pudong skyline, Shanghai

Monday 30 May 2011

Bars, beers & birds

As most students are, I was quite partial to the odd intoxicating beverage during my university and backpacking years.  I wouldn’t say I ever hit it hard though, at least not compared to the majority of my acquaintances – you all know who you are!  Since those days, however, I’ve opted for quieter, more civilised surroundings – there comes a point when the crowded venues, sticky floors and headaches the following day simple outweigh the tipsy tales.

The same applies here.  I have previously mentioned (see ‘culture shock’ post – Friday, 15 April 2011) that the majority of my colleagues plunge straight in to a life of drunken debauchery.  For many, their favourite pastime is sitting outside one of the local bars, lounging on deck chairs and drinking poor quality watered-down vodka from containers resembling plastic Nutella jars.  If the noise, pollution and general mayhem weren’t enough to endure, try adding to the mix the many street hawkers selling books/DVDs/cigarettes/chewing gum/dried squid/massages/the kitchen sink.  This is not my cup of tea (or glass of rosé as the case may be).

At the opposite end of the scale we have the swanky expat bars downtown.  Having only visited 4 of these, I am in no rush to return to any of them.  Here I must stress the following is based purely on my limited personal experiences (as indeed is this entire blog), many may disagree with me, but hey ho – each to their own.

This will probably come as no surprise to anyone who has visited Asia, or who has ‘enjoyed’ a beverage in any bar around the Mathew Street area of Liverpool!

Expat bars full of Western middle-aged, balding, potbellied perverts ogling over beautiful, petite, Asian barmaids who wear little more than white vest tops, hotpants and killer heels.  These women flirt with anything in order to sell a pint or two.  Some wear tight little skirts and dresses with ‘Budweiser’, ‘Tiger’, ‘San Miguel’ etc emblazoned all over them.  And it came as quite a surprise to be immediately surrounded by four of these girls seconds after taking a pew.  Needless to say, the usual arm gestures worked a treat to shoo them away in the direction of some pervy expats.

For the next hour, whilst chatting and sipping my strawberry daiquiri I immersed myself in one of my favourite pastimes – people watching.  I’ve always been interested in others, some call it being nosey, I just think I’m inquisitive!  People watching tells allsorts about total strangers and often lets your mind wander to the possibilities and farfetched conclusions one can often jump to.

So, Budweiser bird is over by the pillar, leaning provocatively and flirting outrageously with a portly Western bloke.  San Miguel señorita strokes the arm of mullet man by the bar – he looks like he’s escaped from a Status Quo tribute act.  And Tiger, well she just pushes the buttocks of an un-branded waitress, who returns the gesture – cheek to cheek.  No wonder every Western wannabe Hugh Hefner has found his way in here!

After watching a few more ageing perverts behaving inappropriately with beer broads, my attention turns to the couple by the bar.  She is a young, slender, attractive Asian lady, wearing revealing clothes and a broad smile.  He is mid-50’s, obese, balding and sporting a pair of jeans and open necked shirt.  My guess is – he hasn’t been able to see his genitals past that paunch since the mid 90’s.  And what does she see in him I wonder?!

Vietnamese women are very open about their desire to bag a Western man.  Domestic violence is high here and many young girls view the financial stability and loving arms of a Western man as the pot of gold at the end of their rainbow.  Three weeks in to his contract, a colleague of mine met a 19 year old Vietnamese girl in a local bar that is well known as a regular ‘teachers’ haunt’.  Alone, dressed to the nines and very taken by my colleague, she made no bones about the fact she was looking for a Western boyfriend.  My friend, a reasonably good looking 29 year old Brit, would have no problems getting a Western girl here or at home. However, he actually liked her and the two managed to spend a turbulent four months together before something had to give.  He had been paying for everything – as is expected from most Vietnamese women I must point out.  That aside, the cultural differences and mood swings became too much and he ended it – leaving his lady of leisure high and dry.

But my real question is this – of the percentage of Asian women who are willing to sacrifice true love for financial stability, how many are truly happy with their choice?

A xx

Friday 27 May 2011

Sun, sea, sand & Sankara

Not having seen a decent beach since our summer holiday to Kos last year, Mr Amy was craving some R&R, so I duly booked us a few days in Mũi Né.  I’d already visited this little haven back in March during an all expenses paid staff trip with the school.  It’s a nice little spot, which lay largely unspoilt before the solar eclipse of 1995; when the coastline around Mũi Né & Phan Thiết provided the perfect viewing point on the south coast of ‘Nam.  Since then, high end resorts and water sports companies have sprung up all along the beach.  But it still retains a certain charm and peacefulness that I haven’t found on any other beach here.

Having scoured the internet a few weeks before Mr Amy’s arrival, I‘d booked a room at a centrally located, Aussie-owned place, close to a fair few restaurants and my favourite bar – Sankara.  On arrival, we found the English manager had a sea view beach hut available – newly renovated, we couldn’t resist.  A little luxury in paradise.

The view from our beach hut

If you’re not a kite surfer, there is little action in Mũi Né.  The two main sight-seeing spots are the Cham Towers (which I had visited back in March) and the Fairy Stream and waterfall which run between the sand dunes.  After sinking a few cocktails in Sankara to mark the end of day one, we opted for a relaxed wander and spot of fairy finding the following day.

Greeted by a small army of Vietnamese school children, who reminded me somewhat of Peter Pan’s lost boys, we found ourselves the target of yet another Vietnamese money making scam.  “No shoes: 3,000 dong to keep shoes” one of them says – because apparently you can’t walk down the stream wearing them.  I tell them it's fine, we’ll carry them.  “I guide you, very deep, dangerous, I know, I live here”.  I almost want to commend the small boy on his excellent, although broken English.  I tell him we’ll be fine and go it alone (also saving ourselves some money).  I’m sure it may be a little deep if you are a young, vertically challenged Vietnamese child, but at 6’ and 5’10” respectively, Mr Amy and I found ourselves paddling ankle deep in the water.

The Fairy Stream

After a few dreamy days filled with sun, sea, sand and sunbathing, it was time to return to Saigon.  Mr Amy departs this evening (volcanic ash clouds permitting) and it’s back to work for me this weekend.  So, our varied and thoroughly enjoyable three weeks comes to a close – and just in time as rainy season and summer school are both looming!

A xx

Saturday 21 May 2011

Oggy, oggy, oggy, Han-oi oi oi!

With Mr Amy not warming to life in Saigon, what better time to take a trip to Hanoi.  A cleaner, cooler, less humid and more relaxed city, Mr Amy adapted far more easily to these surroundings.  The French influence here is more obvious than in Saigon and all I had read about it developing more gracefully than its Southern counterpart appear accurate.

Our £12 a night room was amazing, I was quite chuffed with my little self at the find.  Conveniently located on a quiet street in the centre of the city, we didn’t use any xe-oms at all.  After exploring Hoan Kiem Lake, The Opera House and Temple of Literature day one had run away with us.


The ceremonial drum at the Temple of Literature

Uncle Ho’s dying wish was to be cremated, his ashes scattered half in the north of the country, half in the south.  However, the Vietnamese ‘yes phenomenon’, meaning “yes I have heard what you have said, but will do as I please regardless” means even Uncle Ho was ignored and fobbed off.  As such, he is now preserved in a glass cabinet in the centre of Hanoi for all to gawp at.  Naturally, we fancied a gawp to satisfy our morbid curiosity, so day two saw us pottering down to the mausoleum, ensuring legs and booby bits were suitable covered.  Alas, the queue was colossal – fellow gawpy hopefuls lined Hung Vuong Street, needless to say we didn’t stop to stare, a visit to the Presidential Palace and Uncle H’s former house on stilts were just a stone’s throw away.

The following two days were spent cruising Halong Bay.  A three hour drive from Hanoi, holiday makers flock here for a relaxing break away from the sensory assault of the cities.  Unfortunately, with so many people having the same idea, it can become somewhat of a tourist conveyor belt, losing the idyllic charm most seek.  After lunch onboard we cruised around the limestone formations and stopped off to see inside the local caves, lit with a multitude of disco lights!  The remainder of the trip was spent chatting with fellow passengers, sunbathing and admiring the scenery.  All in all, we have some nice photos, but the experience itself wasn’t all it is marketed as.

Floating fruit stall - Halong Bay

After another two days of mooching around the vaguely interesting points on our map, we find ourselves back in Saigon.  Thumbs up for Hanoi, shame a transfer to my company’s school there is out of the question.

Off to Mũi Né tomorrow for some R&R.
A xx

Friday 20 May 2011

Seeing Saigon for the first time… again


Last Tuesday saw the arrival of Mr Amy.  It’s been a testing 6 months being so far apart and even daily chats on Skype, emails and text messages just aren’t the same as being able to spend quality time with each other in person.  His time here will see us exploring Hanoi, Halong Bay and Mũi Né together, as well as experiencing the many unique things Vietnam constantly offers up.

Six months down the line from my arrival in Saigon, it’s now difficult to remember the many things that immediately struck me as being so vastly different from home.  I definitely noticed the smells here – they’re something you can’t quite put your finger on (and definitely wouldn’t wish to in the literal sense).  Mr Amy’s observations and comparisons have, however, reawakened my consciousness and I’m noticing the differences all over again, in a very humorous way.

A prime example of this was when we ventured out to do an Amy-lou style tour of the city.  Starting at the Opera House and working our way back to my digs required a xe-om.  Mr Amy is no stranger to motorbikes, but it did make me chuckle when he tried to hold the driver’s waist rather than the handle at the back of the seat.  Having been here for 6 months, I now perch nicely without the aid of handles (unless I have a particularly erratic driver).  After pointing out an alternative to cosying up to the driver, we were on our way. 

“I’ll bring my own cutlery” – the words of a defeatist Mr Amy at the thought of three weeks using chopsticks.  It is now a rarity for me to use eating irons – wooden chopsticks have become far quicker and more convenient.  It was, however, inevitable that my significant other would, at some point, have to bite the bullet.  After a short demo and with a strong desire to fill his belly, I can proudly say that Mr Amy is now a chopstick enthusiast - even requesting to visit my favourite ‘chopstick-only’ Thai restaurant.

The traffic, scooters, heat, humidity, food, people and very different style of living all now seem to be the norm for me – it’s quite strange seeing these differences again through someone else’s eyes.

More travel tales from Hanoi and Halong Bay to come…
A xx

Monday 9 May 2011

Forty winks

As someone who once slept through an earthquake in Mexico (measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale) and was regularly unaware of my family burglar alarm going off in the wee small hours, I consider myself a pretty sound sleeper; but the Vietnamese put me to shame.  Anywhere and everywhere here people doze.  Whether they’re lying flat out on the seats of their scooters or using a makeshift hammock strung under a truck – nothing will come between them and their afternoon nap.  And rightly so might I add, most locals rise about 5:00am and in my opinion well deserve a power nap by the time 12:30pm arrives.  I myself have on the odd occasion taken to having a wee snooze in the arvo – well, if you can’t beat them you may as well join them!

A xx

Friday 6 May 2011

Trivial truths

1. I’m working with a former Mr Canada (who could pass as Hulk actor Lou Ferrigno).
2. I’m also working with Dustin Hoffman’s doppelganger.
3. Uncle Ho used to work as a pastry chef in London's Carlton Hotel.

That is all - over and out. 
A xx

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Viet-vision

Vietnamese TV: something I have yet to mention, probably due to the adequate number of English language channels showing the usual American teen programmes and movies.  But one restless night, somewhere between Junior Masterchef Australia and Shaun the Sheep (my logic being it would ease me to a satisfying slumber faster than counting imaginary equivalents); I stumbled upon a curious soap opera. 

There was an Asian lady (presumably Vietnamese) with amazing overacting skills, whining incessantly to her partner, who then appeared on screen sporting a duvet and a rather sleepy-eyed look.  It wasn’t immediately apparent what she was requesting, pointing to her back she presumably wanting assistance unzipping her dress.  But no, her husband tossed her way a strange handheld massage instrument (which wouldn’t have looked out of place in one of Amsterdam’s sex/torture museums).  After a little more whining to coax her Romeo out from behind his duvet, not a lot was happening and I turned over to a music channel showing…

Equally mind-numbing: K-pop.  Korean pop singers found on many music channels and adored by tonnes of my teenage students.  All female solo artists appear to sing melancholy ballads whilst sitting on armchairs, hugging cushions to provide some kind of comfort during this obviously terribly distressing episode.  The hazy lens only adds to the overall wrist-slittingly sorrowful effect.  All set off by a wide-angle shot of said fair maiden wearing an off the shoulder over-sized jumper whilst leaning uncomfortably against a wall – ever so naturally, as you do.  Not to mention the flower petals and confetti defying gravity, floating up the screen.  And to top it off… the lyrics don’t even appear to rhyme!

So all things considered, I think I’ll stick to watching HBO and Starworld – I’d far rather be an American Idol fan, than a K-pop enthusiast!

A xx

Monday 2 May 2011

Hair today, gone tomorrow

This may be the most terrifying experience of my time in ‘Nam to date, but it’s inevitable due to the imminent arrival of Mr Amy. Yes, that’s right it’s time to visit a Vietnamese hairdresser! Having had a few fairly average haircuts in Australia (where no obvious language barrier exists) you can see why I’m a little apprehensive about the prospect of putting my lush long locks in the hands of a foreign scissor wielder! If you don’t hear from me for a while it’s cos I’m scouring Saigon for a wig maker!

A xx