Super-drugs!

Working in such a large school with so many children around, it’s no surprise that germs spread like wild fire.  Add to this the fact that Vietnamese adults also seem incapable of covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze and it’s little wonder that the teachers are constantly battling bugs.  Between the kids in the class with their 10 dinky digits thrust up their nostrils at every opportune moment (usually just before they try to hold you hand) and parents waiting outside in the corridors, you’d need a force field to fend off all the little nasties (germs that is, not children!)

 

Having suffered from a fair few bouts of the common cold upon my arrival here in November, my body seems to have accepted and dare I say it embraced the change in climate; high levels of polluted, humid air and basic hygiene standards that the city throws at you.  Between the street food and young learners my immune system should be impenetrable now: I’m convinced when I return to the UK I’ll be invincible!

 

Or so I thought… until last week.  The first sign came when a couple of my colleagues sat at their desks armed with enough tablets and potions to turn Merlin himself green with envy.  When this happens, you can be fairly sure the air conditioning (inadequate as it is at times) will work well enough to evenly distribute these germs all around the staff room.  And yes, there we have it – you have a small epidemic on your hands: literally!  If you happen to escape the germs, you’ll probably be asked to cover lessons for teachers who have called in sick, which then leads to exhaustion and subsequent sick days for yourself: it’s a catch 22.  Anyway, I digress: a sleepless night later, having woken up on the hour every hour and being seemingly incapable of inhaling through my nostrils, it was going to be a very long weekend.

 

Getting back to the title of this post; I’m not referring to the well known British health and beauty retailer, but the powerful substances available over the counter in all of ‘Nam’s chemists.  And so it was to be a shorter weekend than I had first thought.  After going to two different chemists (whose staff spoke adequate English), I walk away with some super strength stuff – which I first ‘Google’ before swallowing!

 

Not content with my own research skills, I hand the packet to a colleague in work the next day.  As far as prescription (and trippy) ‘medicines’ go, he knows more than most and is seen as something of a walking medical dictionary.  He confirms they’re safe to take and informs me I can also double up the dose or pick ’n’ mix with some other tablets a friend has kindly donated.  What the hell, it’s a weekend, I’m teaching for 8 hours today alone – let’s try a cocktail of them!  Teamed with a strong frappuccino, large mars bar for a hit of glucose and my herbal nasal inhaler the rest of the weekend flew by!

 

So what other delights can you buy over the counter here, I hear you ask.  The short answer – anything you have the nerve to ask for.  Valium is a common one: given out on an ‘ask no questions and I’ll tell you no lies’ basis.  They want your money after all, not your life story.

 

A xx

Points mean prizes... and power!

School of a weekend is fairly manic.  With over 80 classrooms, 90 teachers, equal numbers of teaching assistants and approximately 18 students per class, it’s not the place to spend a relaxing weekend.  Hundreds of students and parents obstruct doors, corridors and try to set new world records for the number of Asian people you can fit in an ‘11 person’ passenger lift.

Vietnamese parents don’t seem to discipline their children for the small annoying things, such as running down corridors, blocking staircases and shouting incessantly; instead choosing to ignore them until such time as they escalate and the parents finally crack, dragging their children by any available limb and seemingly wanting to knock seven shades of s**t out of their little darlings.  Why not just nip it in the bud initially rather than letting it get out of hand?  Use some logic people! Give them an inch…

We are all encouraged to employ classroom management strategies with our classes.  These vary depending upon the age and ability of the group, but generally involve individual or team points and stickers/prizes.  Students are deterred from speaking languages other than English and are encouraged to work together, be patient, share and help one another.  Some would call it bribery: I call it ingenious!  Add to this the concept of ‘losing face’ (see Losing Face post Monday, 4 April 2011) and students are keen not to be seen in a negative light.  The power of the points system is a mighty thing.  It’s amazing what kids will refrain from doing when there’s a sticker at stake!  Without putting these simple measures in place your ‘controlled fun’ can soon resemble the London looters and you have some 6 year old rioters on your hands, minus the flat screen TVs.

I took over a class of 6-10 year olds a couple of weeks ago.  Their former teacher was a bit of a ‘wide boy’ and had a reputation amongst the staff as a jack the lad.  I can imagine it was quite a shock for the kids when in I walked armed with English speaking games and an actual lesson plan!  The troublesome twin boys I had been warned about have since been tamed and race to stand next to me during games.  My teaching assistant now loves the class, commenting on how much nicer they have been since I took over.

Take note ‘Nam – no need for Super Nanny here: just watch me in action!

A xx

Big game hunter

Ok, so the title of this post is a tad sarcastic and misleading, but I’m sure you’ve come to expect that from me by now.  It actually refers to the ‘gentleman’ I recently observed whilst I ate dinner at a local street food place.  Armed with a cane and a small box, he prowled the streets looking for… geckos!

Attached to the end of the cane there appeared to be a piece of cotton, which he placed in close proximity to the little fellas, shaking it and slowly luring the wee beasties toward him, lowering the cane as he went.  Smack! Rapidly lowering his hand over the helpless reptiles, he tosses them in his box and repeats the process until the alley is seemingly gecko free.  I can only imagine what he was going to do with them, you just never know in these parts.

Since then, I’m always happy and relieved to see Gecky (the house gecko who resides in my room).  Having never seen a bug in my room, I’m convinced it’s all because of him.  Long live Gecky, it’s a cruel world out there for little geckos!

A xx

“Freedommmmm!”

Today is the National Day of Vietnam, marking the day in 1945 when Uncle Ho officially declared independence from colonial France.  As you would expect, it’s an official holiday here and, as we learned at this week’s teachers’ meeting, the day when over 10,000 prisoners are freed as a part of the country’s annual amnesty.

 

The Communist big wigs here aren’t overly keen on public dissent; as such I will refrain from voicing my opinions about this matter, for fear of being thrown in with the remaining 99,000 prisoners.

 

We have all been told to be extra vigilant with our money and possessions, as petty street crime rises around this time each year (I can’t think why!)  Well good luck to them if they have the courage to seek out my money and mobile phone… from inside my bra!

 

A xx